owlrodney:

beckersher:

“I adore your pheasant, Colonel,”  The princess purred her words, not quite into Sheppard’s ear, but she may as well have, as she slid into his lap.

“M-my what?”  John’s amused grin faltered.

«His what?» While Rodney’s brow furrowed as much as it could.

She raised her hands to run the backs of her fingers down the sides of both their faces.  ”Your plumages are most complimentary in the sunlight.  Our offspring would be flawless”

“Er…  Thanks?”

“It would be my honour to tend to you and your pheasant after the evening meal, Colonel.”

«No, really.  Am I the ‘pheasant’, or is it a hilarious euphemism I should take note of for future use?»

John turned his nose into Rodney’s exposed chest feathers to mutter as covertly as possible, “You’re pretty calm for someone being propositioned with group bestiality.”

Rodney’s beak opened, and clicked shut.  Several times.  He shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, scrunched his head down into his shoulders, and let out a quiet growling sound.

Sheppard turned back to the princess with a fake smile.  ”Can we get back to you on that?”

#I feel like I need to apologise for this #I also feel compelled to tell y’all there’s a beat after this ends where rodney yells WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE